Working with people
One-on-ones, feedback and performance reviews
Run your 1:1s, ask for and act on feedback, and keep a brag document through review cycles.
Your manager is not a mind reader, and the review cycle is a terrible time to start building a narrative. The engineers who grow fastest treat 1:1s as their meeting, seek feedback while it is still cheap to act on, and keep receipts of their work year-round. None of this requires political genius. It requires a small set of habits you repeat until they are boring.
Pick one habit and install it this week: a shared 1:1 doc with an agenda, a weekly brag-doc reminder, or one specific feedback question after your next launch. Managing up is not manipulation. It is giving your manager the raw materials to support you — and giving yourself an honest mirror before the company holds one up.
The pieces lock together. A 1:1 with an agenda is where you hear gaps while they are still cheap. Specific asks after a launch fill the brag document with quotes and numbers. SBI is how you give the same quality of signal to peers. The review cycle then compiles that file instead of inventing a story in December. If a serious theme shows up for the first time on the form, the weekly channel failed — raise that, and put observable 30/60/90 success criteria in the shared doc.
Concepts in this section
Read them in order.
| Step | Concept | What it answers |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Running your 1:1s | What belongs in the meeting besides status? |
| 2 | Asking and receiving feedback | How do you get usable signal, and hear hard news? |
| 3 | Giving feedback with SBI | How do you describe behavior without a character attack? |
| 4 | Brag documents | How do you keep evidence so reviews are compilation? |
| 5 | Performance review cycles | What do you owe a self-review, peers, and calibration? |
Managing up is the same instrument. Write the decision you need so the easy action is the right one. Surface trade-offs, not only pain. Disagree once in a short memo, then commit. When they unblock you, close the loop so help gets reinforced. Repeated cancelled 1:1s are data about the environment, not only about politeness — relevant to career strategy if the pattern does not change.
Common mistakes
- Treating 1:1s as status theater.
- Asking "any feedback?" and debating the answer in the moment.
- Inventing a self-review from memory in December.
- Letting a serious concern appear for the first time on the form.
Key takeaways
- 1:1s are for blockers, feedback, growth, and career. Bring an agenda.
- Ask specifically, receive by summarizing, give with Situation–Behavior–Impact.
- Keep a brag document so reviews compile evidence mapped to the rubric.
- Help your manager help you in calibration. No surprises either way.
Further learning
Get your work recognized: write a brag document (Julia Evans)Get your work recognized: write a brag documentJulia Evans Lara Hogan's blogLara Hoganlarahogan.me
Feedback resources for managers (Lara Hogan)Many of us fear messing up these awkward (yet important) conversations. But everyone deserves clear feedback!larahogan.me
Kim Scott's TED talk on Radical Candor:
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